Gobbledegeek 2.o

Judges at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival came up with 27 jokes for viewers to vote on and Dan Antopolski topped the list.

The Top 10 jokes were judged to be:

• 1) Dan Antopolski – “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”

• 2) Paddy Lennox – “I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’.”

• 3) Sarah Millican – “I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they’re up where they belong.”

• 4) Zoe Lyons – “I went on a girls’ night out recently. The invitation said ‘dress to kill’. I went as Rose West.”

• 5) Jack Whitehall – “I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

• 6) Adam Hills – “Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you’re going to get it, but it’s going to be rough.”

• 7) Marcus Brigstocke – “To the people who’ve got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn’t invent it!”

• Eight) Rhod Gilbert – “A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.”

• 9) Dan Antopolski – “I’ve been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I’ve seen it six times and there isn’t.”

• 10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) – “I started so many fights at my school – I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn’t finish a lot of them.”

Some of the worst are noted below but I actually found them quite amusing…

• Carey Marx – “I’m not doing any Michael Jackson jokes, because they always involve puns about his songs. And that’s bad.”

• Frank Woodley – “I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling.”

• Alex Maple – “Michael Jackson only invented the moonwalk so he could sneak up on children.”

• Phil Nichol – “She’s got a face like a rare Chinese vase – minging.”

• Alistair McGowan – “I’ve just split up from my girlfriend, which is a shame, because it was a long-standing arrangement. Perhaps if we’d sat down a bit more…”

If you are looking for a new external hard drive, Office works in Bendigo has a few of these designer LaCie 1Tb (1000Mb) drives available. Designed by the prodigiously talented and multi-award winning Neil Poulton, these babies are becoming a rarety. At $149 you had better be quick because I might get another one next week!

Shiny!

It’s great to hear that the Bendigo Fighting Miners have wrapped up the season with two games in hand. It’s also nice to see their continued and considerable efforts rewarded with a mention in local press.

THE Bendigo Fighting Miners clinched the Victoria Rugby Union country division minor premiership in a 38-14 victory agaisnt Ballarat on Saturday.

With two rounds remaining and each team still to have a bye, the Miners are two wins clear of Ballarat and cannot be caught, even if they lose next weekend.

Full article linkage.

From the Miners’ own web site…

The Fighting Miners crushed Ballarat by 38 points to 17 in an impressive display at St. Pat’s Oval, Ballarat last Saturday.

Trailing 7-12 after twenty minutes, the Miners lifted their work rate, scoring five unanswered tries and 31 points to establish a 38-12 lead before conceding a consolation try to Ballarat in the final play of the game.

Article linkage.

For those unfamiliar with the Fighting Miners, they are not a group of belligerent gold diggers but a successful rugby union team.

Keep up the good work….both of you!

Here’s a nifty home-made contraption made from cardboard that will fold t-shirts quickly and neatly.

If you can’t be arsed making that, then learn this very simple method and you’ll be folding t-shirts in less than 3 seconds. Honest, I’ve done it.

Yes, I know that that some will complain that I used one word instead of two (osso buco) and others will question the absence of c in buco (bucco) but let’s be honest, how many of you speak Italian and can cook or even know the origins of this classic dish?

For purists, traditionalists and generally any other tosser who wishes to complain, you will notice a number of obvious deviations from what is considered the ‘classic’ recipe. Shock, horror! I’m using beef rather than veal, for one. There’s no traditional gremolata for another. There’s a distinct and obvious lack of celery and it isn’t served over steaming risotto alla milanese. In fact, what one considers ‘classic’ is by no means original considering the absence of the humble tomato from Europe until the late 1800′s.

Moan away but this dish is created with what I have lying about in the fridge, which amounts to carrots and onions, and served with mashed potatoes.

Seal the meat and set aside. Rough chop a couple of onions and carrots and sauté the in a few tablespoons of olive oil and a good sized knob of butter, until the onion is golden brown. Add several crushed cloves of garlic for the final few minutes to avoid burning it. This is where one would normally add a couple of stalks of celery but I don’t have any today.

Throw a couple of tins of tomatoes into your slow cooker or suitably sized oven dish, followed by the onion and carrot then add the meat. I couldn’t fit the several pieces I needed to feed a large (ish) family into the pot, so I cut the meat away from the bone. I still included the marrow-filled pieces of bone as this adds a unique richness to the overall flavour.

Add a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste and the same of dried thyme, add four or five large bay leaves and cover with beef stock.

Don’t ask me why, probably to enrage the purists further, but I almost added a good shake of Hungarian paprika but the result would have been too sweet with the tomatoes and paste shouldering that mantle adequately. On the subject of tinkering, you have the option to add a glass or so of red wine at this stage.

Cover and chuck in the oven on about 160°C for between 1 1/2 and 1 3/4 hours.

I have no idea as to what temperature my slow (ish) cooker runs at but it bubbled nicely away for about three and a half hours. I stirred it gently several times and seasoned accordingly.

If you are using the stove top, bring to the boil and then turn down very low, simmering for an hour and a half or until the meat starts crumbling.

Tip – Should your meat start to break down but the sauce remains too liquidy, remove it along with whatever chunky ingredients come with it. Turn the heat up to medium until the sauce has reduced to the required consistency.

As usual I haven’t given precise measurements because it will depend on how many shanks you are cooking. Offering up a detailed and precise recipe for a family of seven probably won’t help you much but if you have specific questions, ask away. As a general rule, though, aim to cover your ingredients with up to an inch of liquid.

Ossobuco. 'Ave it!