Gobbledegeek 2.o

It wasn’t that long ago that the British peoples were spilling each others blood on the battlefield and even though we now coexist under one united banner, (blame the Act of Union) not a great deal has changed . These days our battlefields are the rugby parks of Twickenham, Croke Park, Murrayfield and The Millenium Stadium, where lines are drawn and blood frequently spilt. But as serious as a rugby union international is, there is nothing but humorous banter between supporters.

That said, the Celtic Nations band together, united against the Olde Enemy that is England. Of course, we hope and pray that our own team will prevail but if the truth be known, we don’t care who wins as long as it’s not the English.

The Stereophonics voiced this sentiment by putting this little ditty together…

Let it not be said that the Scots have no sense of humour. Slanj, the renowned Scottish kilt manufacturer, has added a couple of highly amusing t-shirts to its line of recreational wear which has caught the unwanted attention of Grampian Police.

An officer called in to advise the store “to consider whether the display was appropriate and should be removed”, in relation to thier ‘Anyone But England’ t-shirts. It was suggested that the t-shirts might be construde as rasist.

Read the full article here.

The t-shirts have been produced for this Summer’s World Cup in South Africa and include one for the unofficial supporters club of the teams England will compete with in Group C.

Racist? Do me a favour! I think they’re bloody hilarious and I’m going to buy some!

Anyone but the English

Group C Supporters Club

If there is a more heinous crime than serving short measures (of beer), it has to be chucking fruit on a bloody pizza.

Pineapple is a prime example of when culinary creativity meets Mr. Stupid Bollocks. Coming in a close second with ways to totally bastardize an otherwise perfectly good pizza, is the desire to load it with meat. But just to clarify, it’s not simply the addition of meat, it’s the apparent need to stack so much of it on. You may as well rip the horns off a cow, shove your ball of dough up its backside and call that a pizza.

Other than ham or perhaps pepperoni, I don’t understand why anyone would saddle the humble pizza with lumps of assorted animal flesh. Don’t get me wrong, I love a steak as much as the next carnivore but the humble pizza is, in my humble opinion, simply not the place for it, it never was and there’s probably a rule about it somewhere.

One exception to the rule however, should be using minted lamb sausage meat with baked beans! Please, control your retching and hear me out.

Do yourselves a favour and buy a shit-load of minted-lamb sausages from the butcher in Strath Village. His web site is bloody awful but his snags are great. Treat yourself to bangers and mash one night but save one or two sausages for the pizza.

Chop and gently fry a small red onion in a little butter and a teaspoon of honey. Squeeze the meat out of the skins and add to the pan, making sure it’s well broken down. I use a potato masher for this. Add ground or crushed black pepper if you are so inclined.

Chuck in 1/3 tin of baked beans and mix together. There’s no need to cook the beans, we’re just making sure everything is well mixed.

Spread your tomato sauce thinly over your dough. You can skip this stage if you like, especially if your meat and beans mixture is quite wet.

Spread your sausage meat and baked bean topping evenly over your pizza base, top with mozzarella and a good pinch of mixed herbs and wack it in the oven until it starts to brown.

I kid ye not, it’s delicious but very, very rich. I only managed a small slice but the great thing is that I can have another slice for lunch and another for supper! There may even be some left over for breakfast!

Believe it or not, and I prefer to believe, tomorrow (February 9th) is International Pizza Day!

Have a look at my simple pizza dough recipe or my first ever effort in the shape of Australia!

I’m sure that many would upchuck at the thought of baked bean pizza but take my word for it, it is awesome. The boffins over at Heinz were obviously on to something when they came up with the frozen one.

Mmmm...Heinz Baked Bean Pizza

There is even a Facebook page dedicated to ‘Bring Back Heinz Baked Bean Pizzas‘!!

These days my kids go wild for my own homemade version. It’s not complicated and any baked beans will do. Spread over your tomato sauce or just tomato paste if you prefer, and top with cheese. The bulk of the cheese is simply cheddar of one sort or another but you can finish it off with a little mozzarella if you like. Sprinkle some mixed herbs over if you like and voila!

So if it’s not baked bean pizza, what’s your favourite?

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To give this scrumdiddlyicious Italian number it’s full name….Peppered Chicken Fettuccine Tossed with Sun-dried Tomatoes, Wild Mushrooms & Spinach. It may very well be known by another name but I’m afraid I have no have no idea what it might be. The original recipe was passed to me by a talented young chef in Bendigo named Adam and so the credit, and thanks, go to him.

You will notice, perhaps with some panic, that I have omitted the proportions. The reason for this is that after making it a few times, I discarded the recipe and made it to taste. For instance, I love mushrooms but the kids balk at their texture and so the amount and the variety will vary. We all adore pesto but it can make the dish a little rich and heavy, so if you have plenty of chicken to go around, cut down on the pesto and vice versa. Experiment by adding and tasting as you go. Add more of what you like and less of what you don’t but don’t go mad otherwise it will become too salty or overly rich.

Referring back to the long-winded title, if you are partial to it, you might like to add more pepper and reduce the amount of pesto. Heck! Leave out the pesto, sun-dried tomatoes and substitute cream and you have yourself a completely different meal!

Ingredients

Fettuccine or Tagliatelle
Chicken Breast Fillets
Sun-dried Tomatoes
Mushrooms
Spinach
Pesto
Cracked black pepper
Garlic
Butter
Olive Oil
Parmesan Cheese

Method

Start by cooking the pasta in well salted water. This should take between 8 and 10 minutes once the water is boiling, just long enough to let you prepare the rest of the dish.

Slice the chicken into equal pieces and marinate in olive oil and black pepper while you get on with the other stuff.

Slice the mushrooms and cook in an equal butter oil mix. Season and add a little garlic. Personally, I prefer to just heat them through so they remain quite firm but not still crunchy. You can experiment with wild mushrooms and I would suggest Crimini (Cremini, baby bellas, Italian Brown and Portabellini) for their richer, more earthy flavour or for the more adventurous (and if you can get them), Pied de Mouton or Porcini (Penny Buns) but any mushroom imparting earthy or nutty flavours such as Portabello, would be great in this dish. If you manage to get your hands on some good ‘uns, reduce the impact of the other ingredients and make it more about the mushrooms.

Earthy Cremini Mushrooms

Add more olive oil for the sauce. You may leave this step out if you’re not a fan of olive oil but you don’t want it to be too dry.

Drain and add the cooked pasta, toss and add shaved Parmesan. Potato peelers are great for shaving but a standard grater will probably have the necessary grating slot.

Add the spinach, toss and add a knob of butter. If you’re not a big fan of spinach, try it anyway because it’s the marriage of flavours that make this dish so bloody lovely. If you really must, leave out the spinach, it won’t lessen the dish noticeably. You might also like to add lightly toasted pine nuts or even almond slivers.

Serve with shaved Parmesan on top and accompany with a chilly crisp white of your choice.

Perhaps I’ll add a few black olives when I do this next and I must remember to take photos. Here’s one I borrowed but it doesn’t have sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, Parmesan or any chicken for that matter!!

Yummy all the same

I hate the fact that I find it extremely difficult to sleep and ‘er indoors is forever telling me to visit the quack but tonight I was fortunate to be a light sleeper-cum-insomniac.

An unnatural noise outside caught my attention where random wind-related sounds don’t. Given that the missus is working away in Melbourne, I couldn’t wake her to deal with it and so I had little choice but to drag myself out of bed. A sneaky peak out between the blinds revealed some low-life miscreant creeping up the driveway.

Being ever so courageous, I poked my head out of the front door and politely greeted the bugger! Yes, I actually called out “hello?” My God! What was I thinking? I immediately came to my senses and attempted to rescue the awkward (for me at least) situation with some choice expletives but the little sod was obviously so confused and startled by my effeminate (particularly blonde) initial greeting, that he had long since scarpered.

Fearing law suits from the neighbours, I darted back in and donned my shorts and flip flops (thongs in ‘Stralian) but he was long gone; or so I thought.

I spotted a girls bike on the other side of the road, lying on the grass and having just watched a stellar performance by Robert Downey in Sherlock Holmes, I was inspired to deduce that this could be the prowlers getaway vehicle and so took a photo as evidence. I would have dusted for prints there and then but not having the appropriate training in forensic science, I decided I couldn’t be arsed. Anyway, the little git was probably going to be back for it.

At this point I thought it prudent to inform the authorities.

If only I hadn’t popped inside for a deserved smoke, I’d have caught the not-very-good-burgler because as I walked down the driveway to wait for the police, the would be tinker sprinted from the cul-de-sac, grabbed his girly getaway bike and shot off down the road with a parting “Fark you!”

Charming! I thought as I made a lame attempt at running after him in my traditional Aussie footwear. He disappeared out of site around the corner where I noticed the lights of a car turning in the road. I assumed this was either an accomplice manning a more suitable getaway vehicle or the troops arriving in the nick of time.

It turned out to be the police after all and not only did they collar the little criminal around the corner, they picked up his loyal partner in crime. Apparently, they admitted to being out harvesting parts for their BMX bikes.

The Bungling BMX Bandits of Bendigo!

Gobbledegeek 2 Bendigo BMX Bandits 0

The Girly Getaway Vehicle