Gobbledegeek 2.o

Along with the referees, the new ball and the underwhelming standard of play, this contemptible contraption has conspired to mar the current FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Worryingly, stores here in Australia are unable to keep up with demand. For sports fans, this cannot be good news. The 2010 World Cup will always be remembered for these monotonous, obnoxious horns and God forbid they be allowed to permeate the Aussie sporting culture!

My advice is say ‘No’ and particularly if you cannot confirm their origin. For instance, I would highly recommend against importing vuvuzelas from Papua New Guinea, where they are more commonly referred to as a koteka or phallocrypt.

Modern use of the infernal vuvuzela

More traditional use of the vuvuzela

Vuvuzela blowing technique demonstration

This lucky gal has two vuvuzelas to blow

An alternative use for the vuvuzela

A second test defeat was always likely, particularly if you look at the form books but Wales still could have performed better. The All Blacks looked a little unimaginative and may I be so bold as to say hesitant?

In the dying seconds the score sat at a perfectly respectable 22 – 10, a score many Welshmen would have bitten arms off to take prior to kick-off, but a slip from Byrne was gratefully pounced on by Cruden for a late try that was a little hard to swallow.

The effort by the Welsh was considerable but I couldn’t help but feel that there was a little more to come. Like many of my school reports,  ‘Could do better’ summed it up nicely, but surprisingly more so for the home nation.

As to the ref, Caplan, I’ll say no more other than he listened to the crowd way too much and even the Kiwi supporters detest his refereeing style, which went a long way to ruining an otherwise good game of rugby.

The third half result was more even, with the Welsh fans just sneaking a glorious victory by drinking Hamilton dry of Guinness. A great night was had by all and one I hope to repeat next year at the Rugby World Cup  2011, here in New Zealand.

An honourable mention must go the Waikato stadium grounds staff. Despite the constant rain in the run up the the match, the pitch held firm and looked great. The folks responsible for the joke at the Etihad stadium could learn a thing or two.

Great view of the game!

It’s abso-bloody-lutely belting it down here in Hamilton but the overwhelming urge to trawl the local bars for Welshmen is too strong…..hmm, that came out wrong?

What I mean is, it would be nice to meet up with the Welsh rugby fans who have descended on Hamilton in their droves for the 2nd Test tomorrow and partake of a few sherbets while we reminisce about the green, green grass of home; God’s country if you will.

I’ll have to get a taxi!

Got ticket?

Who in God’s name is searching for pictures of ‘julia gillard’s tits’, ‘julia gillard upskirt’, ‘dirty pictures of juilia (sic) gillard’ and ‘julia gillard porn’ in general? Seriously!

For the record, there are no sordid images of Julia Gillard on this site. There never have been and there never will be….even if she is a Barry Island girl.

Welsh, but definately not nude.

PS. In case you were wondering, the title is a rather tenuous reference to ‘Yes, We Have No Bananas’.

It goes without saying that an essential ingredient of going to watch a live International rugby match is the ticket but after days spent tracking down accommodation, I thought I’d left it too late….

Ticketek were telling me that only crap seats were available and that I might be confined to the temporary stand where die-hard fans actually stand and huddle around a 3 inch portable TV to share the experience. However, in the hope of a minor miracle, I called Waikato Rugby Union’s Sales Manager, John Mudford, who usually deals with the stadium’s hospitality goodness that us mere mortals only dream of affording. I explained my predicament and his response was short and sweet.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort you out first thing in the morning”. It would have been rude to ask why he couldn’t sort it out there and then but he explained that he was out of the office and that I should send him an email with my preference.

Would you Adam and Eve it? This morning I receive an email confirming that they have reserved one of the best seats in the house for me. Apparently, they hide a few prime seats away from Ticketek and the like, for hospitality/corporate clients….and idiots who leave it very late, it appears.

So, for the icing on what could have been a rather disappointing cake, a big ‘thank you’ goes out to Waikato Rugby Union and especially, John Mudford and Sue Raynor.

I can only hope that Wales perform as well on the day!

I use the word ‘men’ to describe these degenerate miscreants but these are not the actions of real men.

TWO Bendigo men have been charged with the rape of a 12-year-old girl.

The men, both in their 20s, are alleged to have consumed drugs and alcohol and had sex with the girl in full view of their friends despite her pleading with them to stop.

Long Gully man Dale Goss, 25, and Jarrod Nadort, 23, of Lockwood were arrested on Tuesday after the girl made a report to police.

…and despite police protestations, the Magistrate, Jennifer Tregent, let the ‘alleged’ perverts out on bail!!

These sick paedophiles can consider themselves incredibly fortunate! They can thank their soon-to-be well-used sorry arses that this wasn’t my daughter, because I’d be locked up in their place and they’d be slowly decomposing in a urine soaked shallow grave at an undisclosed remote location.

Bendigo 12 lost to Cobram 24 at Koonoomooo, 5 June 2010.

The Fighting Miners suffered their first ever defeat at the hands of the Cobram Dust Devils at Koonoomoo last Saturday. The Dust Devils entered the competition in 2008 but have not been competitive until the current season.

In Saturday’s game, the Dust Devils got on top in the second half after the scores were deadlocked at 12-12 at the break.

Bendigo scorers were Jeremy Solomon in the tenth minute and Nick Poingdestre in the 35^th minute.

Bendigo had the upper hand in the first half with a dominant scrum, good rolling mauls and good hit-ups on the fringes of the rucks by the big men. This dominance resulted in a string of penalties to the Miners and kept the Dust Devils on the back foot.

Team: 1 N. Poingdestre, 2 T. Henderson, 3 J. Tuitupou, 4 S. Kelly, 5 E. Tuitupou, 6 S. McGrail, 7 D. Fallaver, 8 K. Fepuleai, 9 N. Dehnert, 10 Jon Solomon, 11 S. Queally, 12 S. MacDonald, 13 J. Learai, 14 Jeremy Solomon, 15 J. Manderson, 16 S. Paterson, 17 P. Clark

Scorers: Jeremy Solomon, Poingdestre tries; Manderson goal.

W. Coulter

Read the full match report here.

The Miners have a bye this weekend but you can still see them in action when they take on an ‘old boys’ selection as part of their 40th Anniversary celebrations. Why not head up to Shadforth Park and watch?

The Victorian Rugby Union Country Division competition resumes with round 6 on 26th June at home against the Deniliquin Drovers.

Searching for a ‘list of idiots in Bendigo’ brings a surprising number of visitors to Gobbledegeek 2.0, not as many as those searching for nude images of Julia Gillard though! For this reason, I thought it might be a worthwhile public service to actually compile a list of Bendigo-based half-wits.

Fortunately, these low-brows are not the majority in this otherwise ‘alright’ Victorian town, so it shouldn’t be a difficult task. So if you know a candidate for the list, please submit their details here. To avoid becoming a candidate yourself, please remember to include the gene pool contaminator’s name, reason for it’s nomination and a photo where possible.

The overwhelming majority of these knuckle-draggers will no doubt merit their own post but I will endeavour to list them here too. They appear in no particular order of idiocy or severity of crime.

Mark my words, the top twenty will be dominated by those repugnant in-bred fuckaloops we call hoons but you are welcome to prove me wrong…..

The List

Although not hoons, these three knob-jockey’s can get the ball rolling…..

Eighteen year old Stewart Love (you long time) and two younger wannabe robbers who stole thousands of dollars worth of gear in a mini-gay-crime-spree, were found guilty yesterday…..

The full (ish) story here.

I popped into the NAB in Strath Village shopping centre the other day to enquire about their merchant banking services and  ‘virtual terminal’ facility. As part of some research I was doing, I remembered reading something on the NAB website. Unfortunately, I assumed asking in person might prove more helpful should I have questions.

I asked for the information I sought but the two female tellers glanced at each other as if I had just asked them to theorise some impossible mathematical equation and expected an answer in fluent badger! After some umm-ing and ahh-ing, which clearly demonstrated a mutual cerebral void, I offered them  a release from their obvious agony.

I smiled sympathetically and headed for the door.

What’s the difference between iPad and iPed? Only $500!

Forget the fact that it runs on as much RAM as is required to power a rather limp lettuce sandwich, as cheap and nasty Chinese knock-offs go, this is quite impressive. Other than the head-turning $149 price tag, another redeeming feature is that fact that it runs on Google’s Android operating system.

Despite scoring three tries to their opponent’s one, the Fighting Miners were narrowly defeated by the Puckapunyal Boars in wet, raining conditions last Saturday.

Lack of discipline when not in possession of the ball cost the Miners dearly as the Puckapunyal goalkicker took every chance offered to him, slotting 5/5 with four penalties and a conversion.

Team: 1 N. Poingdestre, 2 E. Tuitupou, 3 J. Tuitupou, 4 N. Dehnert, 5 S. Kelly, 6 D. Fallaver, 7 S. McGrail, 8 B. Westley, 8 A. Saville, 10 Jon Solomon, m11 S. Fagavao, 12 Jeremy Solomon, 13 J. Learai, 14 S. Queally, 15 J. Manderson, 16 T. Henderson, 17 C. Dalley, 18 Conrad, 20 M. Crichton, 21 P. Thomas, 22 L. Eriksen  Reserve: Julius Solomon

Scorers: J. Tuitupou, E. Tuitupou, N. Poingdestre tries; Manderson goal

Next week, the Miners travel to Cobram to take on the resurgent Dust Devils.

Read the full match report here.