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Browsing Category "Rants"

  • Idiots in Bendigo – The Definitive List

    Searching for a 'list of idiots in Bendigo' brings a surprising number of visitors to Gobbledegeek 2.0, not as many as those searching for nude images of Julia Gillard though! For this reason, I thought it might be a worthwhile public service to actually compile a list of Bendigo-based half-wits. Fortunately, these low-brows are not the majority in this otherwise 'alright' Victorian town, so it shouldn't be a difficult task. So if you know a candidate for the list, please submit their details here. To avoid becoming a candidate yourself, please remember to include the gene pool contaminator's name, reason for it's nomination and a photo where possible. Mark my words, the top twenty will be dominated by those repugnant in-bred fuckaloops, hoons but you are welcome to prove me wrong.....

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  • Strathdale NAB

    I popped into the NAB in Strath Village shopping centre the other day to enquire about their merchant banking services and 'virtual terminal' facility. As part of some research I was doing, I remembered reading something on the NAB website. Unfortunately, I assumed asking in person might prove more helpful should I have questions. I asked for the information I sought but the two female tellers glanced at each other as if I had just asked them to theorise some impossible mathematical equation and expected an answer in fluent badger! After some umm-ing and ahh-ing, which clearly demonstrated a mutual cerebral void, I offered them a release from their obvious agony. I smiled sympathetically and headed for the door.

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  • Gobbledegeek v The Bendigo BMX Bandits

    An unnatural noise outside caught my attention where random wind-related sounds don't. Given that the missus is working away in Melbourne, I couldn't wake her to deal with it and so I had little choice but to drag myself out of bed. A sneaky peak out between the blinds revealed some low-life miscreant creeping up the driveway. Being ever so courageous, I poked my head out of the front door and politely greeted the bugger! Yes, I actually called out "hello?" My God! What was I thinking? I immediately came to my senses and attempted to rescue the awkward (for me at least) situation with some choice expletives but the little sod was obviously so confused and startled by my effeminate (particularly blonde) initial greeting, that he had long since scarpered.

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  • 6 Nations Rugby 2010

    Well bugger me if Setanta aren't airing the IRB 6 Nations Championship this season! That subscription can consider itself well and truly canceled. Fortunately, ESPN is showing the Northern Hemisphere's premier rugby showcase. Unfortunately, one is required to buy a new HD set-top box and subscribe to the new HD channels which will set you back another $20 a month. Looks like the kid's Cartoon Network has been canceled.....at least for next couple of months.

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  • Bendigo Paedophile Dennis Goudge Buggered

    Or more to the point, the filthy nonce will be when he's convicted and sent to play with the big boys. He's going to need rope for his soap, that's for sure! Dennis Alfred Goudge, who Bendigo Police describe as Victoria's worst child sex offender, faces 58 charges (revised from 144), including multiple counts of child rape, sexual penetration of a child under 10, sexual penetration of a child under 17 and indecent assault.

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  • Bendigo Hoons Are Special…

    ...in the head! A Maiden Gully uber-hoon makes a late claim for "Cockhead of the Year Award' by dobbing himself in. I know what you're thinking, that these imbeciles surely can't get any more moronic, but if this article from The Advertiser is to be believed, then the 26 year old subject has surely set the standard. No wonder Bendigo Police carted him off to hospital for an assessment!

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  • Pregnancy For Dummies

    Along with hoons, should we really encourage them to reproduce?

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  • Telstra Customer Service Sucks You Long Time

    The tooth fairy, an intelligent hoon, weapons of mass destruction, a non-nagging wife, honest politicians, the chances of Collingwood winning the flag this year, Telstra customer service......can you see where I'm going with this?

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  • Link between Scientology and Bendigo Discovered!

    Yes, fuck heads abound when you happen upon a room pustulously populated with that heady, if musty, mix of half-witted hoons and slow-witted Scientologists!

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  • Bendigo Hoons – Top of The Fuck Head List Again…

    ...and still bottom of the gene pool. Well, it's not really news is it? Bendigo is again honoured with the prestigious accolade of being the state's Hoon Capital! A label loved by many and one set to remain for the […]

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  • Junortoun Central Post Office & Service Station

    .......what a bunch of frackin' morons! I make a point of excluding profanity from my blog but for these dickheads, I am happy to make an exception. A couple of weeks ago I received a Western Union order and knowing that Australia Post would be closed on a Sunday I phoned around a few of the agents listed on the WU website. The bint in the Junortoun Central Post Office & Service Station, assured me that they were able to perform the transaction. Arrived. Actually, she wasn't permitted to perform the transaction. This week I called again to potentially save a trip in the pouring rain. She assured me that she was able to perform the transaction. I asked again to be sure and explained the previous wasted trip. She gave me assurances that they were able and willing to perform WU transactions. Got there. "Oh! We are able to send but not receive", she said. What a frackin' goat! I am now piss wet through, have wasted another hour and still have no money. Not a happy bunny!

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  • The Whinging Welshman

    While this all encompassing, if inaccurate label causes no offense to me, it does to some. This is especially so when preceded by ‘whinging’ or 'bloody' and whilst the precise etymology eludes me, it is worth noting that even the Australians are unsure of exactly where or how the word ‘Pom’ originated.

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  • The Bandwidth Leech

    With the proliferation of wireless connectivity comes a disdainful breed of miscreant, the bandwidth leech.

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  • Bendigo Forums – A social network with potential

    If you are interested in discussing anything and everything to do with Bendigo, join Bendigo Forums. It's free and simple to use.

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  • Vultures with wheels

    ....and you know what? I bet nobody else gives a shit! But that's the beauty of a blog; I can write what the hell I like and libel laws aside, I will argue that point to the grave. I don't […]

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  • Bloody Woolworths Homeshop!

    How in God's name can you be out of bloody frozen chooks? I mean, it's not like you have to regularly order limited stock and promote rapid turnover to prevent the produce going fowl (did you see what I did there hmm?). It's bloody frozen, it'll keep for months. There really is no excuse to be short of frozen produce in my opinion.

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  • Safeway Homeshop is Crap….Really.

    Online shopping works if it works, if you follow me. My point is that shopping online and having it delivered to my door, is a useful concept and one I'm sure is vital for many. Notwithstanding the obvious benefits to those unable to physically visit a supermarket, the very fact that this mundane chore is removed, is brilliant. Cup of tea in one hand, mouse in the other and not a single jobsworth checking your bags and pockets on your way out, what's not to like about online shopping?

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  • Aussie ski lift prices highest in world

    Taking a family vacation to the mountains in order to sample the Winter sports on offer, is going to be an expensive choice this season. Skiing has never been the first choice for budget holiday-makers but Europeans should consider themselves […]

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  • Bendigo’s Half-witted Hoons win Award

    Yes, you read correctly. Bendigo's Hoons collectively win the Village Idiot Award for Outstanding Idiocy in the Face of Utter Stupidity! I read today, with no great surprise I might add, that Bendigo's hilarious hoon half-wits have outdone themselves by […]

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