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Archives

  • Telstra Customer Service – A True Oxymoron

    I'm about as knowledgeable on telephonic hardware as I am with the inner workings of the female psyche but even I could have built a telephone out of cigarette ends and old tea bags, connected it to the telephone exchange […]

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  • Say No To Vuvuzelas!

    Along with the referees, the new ball and the underwhelming standard of play, this contemptible contraption has conspired to mar the current FIFA World Cup in South Africa. Worryingly, stores here in Australia are unable to keep up with demand. For sports fans, this cannot be good news. The 2010 World Cup will always be remembered for these monotonous, obnoxious horns and God forbid they be allowed to permeate the Aussie sporting culture! My advice is say 'No' and particularly if you cannot confirm their origin. For instance, I would highly recommend against importing vuvuzelas from Papua New Guinea, where they are more commonly referred to as a koteka or phallocrypt.

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  • Strathdale NAB

    I popped into the NAB in Strath Village shopping centre the other day to enquire about their merchant banking services and 'virtual terminal' facility. As part of some research I was doing, I remembered reading something on the NAB website. Unfortunately, I assumed asking in person might prove more helpful should I have questions. I asked for the information I sought but the two female tellers glanced at each other as if I had just asked them to theorise some impossible mathematical equation and expected an answer in fluent badger! After some umm-ing and ahh-ing, which clearly demonstrated a mutual cerebral void, I offered them a release from their obvious agony. I smiled sympathetically and headed for the door.

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  • Bendigo Lose Season Opener

    Saturday's opening match of the 2010 Country Victoria rugby season saw the Fighting Miners suffer a 14 - 26 defeat at the hands of Puckapunyal at Shadforth Park, Bendigo.

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  • Unique, interesting or unusual ways to get fit?

    I find it extremely difficult to motivate myself to go jogging. In fact, motivation for any sort of fitness-related exertion is nigh on impossible to muster. Before you jump down my throat with unhelpful comments related to bone-idleness and such, may I add that there is a genuine underlying medical reason for this. I'd rather go to the dentist AND watch paint dry than pound the pavement and so I am on a mission to uncover something a little more inspiring.

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  • Barry Rochford Guilty of Killing Dog Found Hanged

    Last night I made a note to write a follow-up to Beware the Butcher of Bendigo following the news that Barry Rochford had been found guilty of animal cruelty, according to United Press International, but in reality I should be commenting on the legal system. The 6 month prison term handed down by the court was pitiful, in my humble opinion and combined with his current sentence of four years for multiple arson, he would be eligible for parole in early 2011. Wow! It's almost enough to make you want to take up a life of crime! Edit - I just realised I posted this with the title 'Barry Rochford Found Hanged'. I swear it wasn't wishful thinking, just a slip.

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  • Britney’s Lip-syncing Circus

    As the furore over the lip-synching-and-very-little-else debacle plaguing the one-time pop princess Britney Spears continues, an amusing comment on News.com caught my eye...

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  • Googling Nude Photos of Julia Gillard

    I find it not a little disturbing that the vast majority of visitors come here by way of a Google search for nude photos of Julia Gillard! This is the reason why they come, ergo the reason the post appears in Google's search results but is anyone able to explain to me why one would be Googling for images of Australia's Deputy Prime Minister in her birthday suit?

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  • Kevin Rudd & HM Queen Elizabeth II

    Kevin Rudd asks the Queen her opinion on the proposed move from the Commonwealth.

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  • Bendigo Hoons – Top of The Fuck Head List Again…

    ...and still bottom of the gene pool. Well, it's not really news is it? Bendigo is again honoured with the prestigious accolade of being the state's Hoon Capital! A label loved by many and one set to remain for the […]

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  • Junortoun Central Post Office & Service Station

    .......what a bunch of frackin' morons! I make a point of excluding profanity from my blog but for these dickheads, I am happy to make an exception. A couple of weeks ago I received a Western Union order and knowing that Australia Post would be closed on a Sunday I phoned around a few of the agents listed on the WU website. The bint in the Junortoun Central Post Office & Service Station, assured me that they were able to perform the transaction. Arrived. Actually, she wasn't permitted to perform the transaction. This week I called again to potentially save a trip in the pouring rain. She assured me that she was able to perform the transaction. I asked again to be sure and explained the previous wasted trip. She gave me assurances that they were able and willing to perform WU transactions. Got there. "Oh! We are able to send but not receive", she said. What a frackin' goat! I am now piss wet through, have wasted another hour and still have no money. Not a happy bunny!

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  • Swine Flu in Victoria

    Should you receive an email from the State Government of Victoria, Australia, Department of Human Services warning you not to eat tinned pork in light of the recent Swine Flu outbreak, ignore it......it's just Spam!

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  • Bendigo Forums – The original discussion board for Bendigo

    Bendigo Forums aims to be a family-friendly, fun and informative free resource for anyone and everyone with an interest in Bendigo, Victoria, Australia and as such, I encourage you to pop over there now and sign up for your free membership and get posting now!

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  • Bendigo Forums – A social network with potential

    If you are interested in discussing anything and everything to do with Bendigo, join Bendigo Forums. It's free and simple to use.

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  • Vultures with wheels

    ....and you know what? I bet nobody else gives a shit! But that's the beauty of a blog; I can write what the hell I like and libel laws aside, I will argue that point to the grave. I don't […]

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  • Bloody Woolworths Homeshop!

    How in God's name can you be out of bloody frozen chooks? I mean, it's not like you have to regularly order limited stock and promote rapid turnover to prevent the produce going fowl (did you see what I did there hmm?). It's bloody frozen, it'll keep for months. There really is no excuse to be short of frozen produce in my opinion.

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  • Safeway Homeshop is Crap….Really.

    Online shopping works if it works, if you follow me. My point is that shopping online and having it delivered to my door, is a useful concept and one I'm sure is vital for many. Notwithstanding the obvious benefits to those unable to physically visit a supermarket, the very fact that this mundane chore is removed, is brilliant. Cup of tea in one hand, mouse in the other and not a single jobsworth checking your bags and pockets on your way out, what's not to like about online shopping?

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  • Hem

    – Australian noun 1. a cut of meat from the heavy-muscled part of a hog’s rear quarter, between hip and hock, usually cured. 2. that part of a hog’s hind leg. 3. the part of the leg back of the […]

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  • The Australian Pizza

    It would be pure folly to even attempt to explain the train of thought which eventually led to the Australia-shaped pizza but it was fun, if only for me. I needed an image that I could manipulate, particularly it's size, […]

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  • Beware the Butcher of Bendigo

    Bendigo dog owners are rightly outraged and more than a little disturbed with the knowledge that a sick, sociopathic miscreant is skulking in the shadows, ready to pounce on their beloved pets. The depraved thug is known to be responsible […]

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