Gobbledegeek 2.o

Telling your parents you’re gay!

I really couldn’t be arsed to write a convoluted post about my personal experiences with Telstra because it’s not news to anybody.

In fact, everybody knows that their level of customer service is comparable to that of skanky whore with syphilis and a gangrenous, pustule-ridden mouth attempting a $1000 blow job. It’s way over priced and pretty fucking wank if the truth be told!

The tooth fairy, an intelligent hoon, weapons of mass destruction, a non-nagging wife, honest politicians, the chances of Collingwood winning the flag this year, Telstra customer service……can you see where I’m going with this?

Telstra, to say you care for your customers is like Dr. Harold Shipman claiming he cared for his patients.

Claims that customer service even exists are like the backed up longdrop dunnies at a Phall eating marathon…….full of shit!

Stupid, moronic, idiotic, extremely sad, misguided, brainless, slow, halitosis-ridden, slightly gay! Yes, fuck heads abound when you happen upon a room pustulously populated with that heady, if musty, mix of half-witted hoons and slow-witted Scientologists!

Following the tragic and untimely death of his son Jett, poor John Travolta has let slip that he intends to leave the Church (sic) of Cockheads because he’s dissillusioned with their comic-book based belief that autism, regarded as psychosomatic, should be treated with vitamins and a detox program, no less!. John, you’re not a hoon from Bendigo! Pull yourself together, engage your brain and ditch these sad simpletons!

It is also reported that the church’s response to the teenager’s death has been to conduct “intensive sessions” with so-called ethics officers, whose job is to question Travolta and other family members to determine if their “negative influences” caused the tragedy.

Johnny boy, when are you and Tommy going to realise that this is not a church in any shape or form in the conventional sense but little more than an elaborate fad. Unfortunately, one must validate these Martian member-munchers by labeling them as a cult (C-U-L-T) Yes, I know, it’s very close! How any reasonably sane person can regard these idiots as being members of a valid religion, is beyond me and I’m really fucking intelligent. Members? Yes! Part of a genuine religion? Me thinketh not!

Rick Ross, an author who has watched the church for 30 years, was quoted as saying that can be a dangerous move for any high-profile practitioner.

“Scientology keeps files on its celebrity members containing embarrassing personal information about them,” he said.

“And Scientology has proven in the past that it has a penchant for releasing that information to embarrass people who have left and who have said things it doesn’t like.”

What sort of ‘religion’ would do such a thing? And anyway, how embarrassing could it be? We already know that you’re one of these misguided misfits.

Seriously John, call me!

…and still bottom of the gene pool.

Well, it’s not really news is it? Bendigo is again honoured with the prestigious accolade of being the state’s Hoon Capital! A label loved by many and one set to remain for the foreseable future, or at least until genetic manipulation becomes legal/acceptable.

If you’d like to read the article, try here.

What motivates these fuck heads? I mean, if dicing with death is something that substitutes Viagra for these homosexuals, why not simply shoot up an Ice/Crack/random semen cocktail once in a while? That way, you get the rush you crave while never really knowing whether you are going to die a horrible death or not but should it be the former, and we can live in hope, you only ruin the lives of your family.

I cherish the moment one of these Neanderthal toss pots crosses my path or puts my children at risk.

Of course, being of little intelligence, they often bemoan the ‘personal vendetta’ carried out by the local police force in the pursuit of their deemed innocent high jinks, rather than targeting paedophiles, murderers and well, any other criminal activity than theirs. Bendigo Police receive precious little praise for their work against Bendigo’s botty-boys who use hooning as a cover.

Read an article about Bendigo’s Traffic Management Unit here.

One dick-less wonder in particular seems not to understand that his actions have consequences. Poor Joshua Shelton lost his arm as the result of his misguided passion for hooning and while I wouldn’t endorse such radical and extreme body modification, especially for someone who seemingly enjoys driving, it doesn’t appear to have quashed his appetite for the socially repulsive activity. Donkey bollocks Joshua was caught twice in just 90 minutes, having already lost his license! Numb-nuts Josh is THE most effective argument for genetic manipulation if ever there was one.

Read about silly Joshua Shelton from Bendigo here.

Incidentally, this really gets my goat and, just between you and me, I don’t even own a goat! The social misfits, fortunate enough to harm themselves while hooning, are even eligible for compensation payouts from the Transport Accident Commission!

Even if they were deemed negligent and ultimately responsible for an incident, most were still entitled to a lump-sum impairment benefit, she said.

Read more on this insanity here.

I will give intelligent readers one guess as to who pays these dim-witted dick-nibblers? Hoons can obviously have several but I suggest you right in for the answer because you’ll be here forever otherwise.