Gobbledegeek 2.o

Searching for a ‘list of idiots in Bendigo’ brings a surprising number of visitors to Gobbledegeek 2.0, not as many as those searching for nude images of Julia Gillard though! For this reason, I thought it might be a worthwhile public service to actually compile a list of Bendigo-based half-wits.

Fortunately, these low-brows are not the majority in this otherwise ‘alright’ Victorian town, so it shouldn’t be a difficult task. So if you know a candidate for the list, please submit their details here. To avoid becoming a candidate yourself, please remember to include the gene pool contaminator’s name, reason for it’s nomination and a photo where possible.

The overwhelming majority of these knuckle-draggers will no doubt merit their own post but I will endeavour to list them here too. They appear in no particular order of idiocy or severity of crime.

Mark my words, the top twenty will be dominated by those repugnant in-bred fuckaloops we call hoons but you are welcome to prove me wrong…..

The List

Although not hoons, these three knob-jockey’s can get the ball rolling…..

Eighteen year old Stewart Love (you long time) and two younger wannabe robbers who stole thousands of dollars worth of gear in a mini-gay-crime-spree, were found guilty yesterday…..

The full (ish) story here.

…in the head!

A Maiden Gully uber-hoon makes a late claim for “Cockhead of the Year Award’ by dobbing himself in. I know what you’re thinking, that these imbeciles surely can’t get any more moronic, but if this article from The Advertiser is to be believed, then the 26 year old subject has surely set the standard. No wonder Bendigo Police carted him off to hospital for an assessment!

On a related note, I’m seriously struggling with superlatives for these numpties, so if you have any you’d like to share, feel free to post below.

So as another crap year draws to a close I thought I might proffer one final peice of inane literary tripe by exposing some of the sick and depraved who frequent Gobbledegeek 2.0. by summarising the search strings that lured them here during 2009.

The comprehensive visitor statistics gathered by WordPress detail, amongst numerous other things, precisely the site from whence you came, the browser you used, your IP address,  and best of all, the search string you used (which obviously resulted in a link here)!

Without a doubt, the most frequently used search string in 2009 was any variation of ‘Nude photos of Julia Gillard‘ for Christ’s sake (original post). I still cannot fathom why anyone would be searching for nude photos of the Welsh red-headed politician (no offence J). The runner up is the very steady performer that is any variation of ‘simple pizza recipe‘. The one-eyed, almost but not quite, entirely unlike, quasi-serial killer ‘Barry Rochford‘ is behind bars in third (original post). For those in search of ‘telstra customer service‘, let’s face it, it’s an oxymoron (like ‘happily married’ or low calorie ‘chocolate covered bacon‘). You’re not going to find it. It’s like Shangri-bloody-la!

I would also like to highlight some of the slightly more odd searches that have resulted in your  arrival at my doors! These are just a few:

• want suck my dick bendigo (sic) – no thanks. I’m still digesting Christmas turkey and how in God’s name did that get you here?
• bendigo peadophiles (sic) – were you looking for their home page?
• barry rochford is dead – err, sadly not true.
• are welshmen poms – no they are not! Who searched for this?
• axedale pig farts – don’t they all?
• hoons are human too – and Australia will win the soccer World Cup!

So remember, if your Googling includes embarrassing search strings and you end up here, I have your IP address and I may just use it! You know who you are!

“So long and thanks for all the fish” or if you prefer, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

Along with hoons, should we really encourage them to reproduce?

Stupid, moronic, idiotic, extremely sad, misguided, brainless, slow, halitosis-ridden, slightly gay! Yes, fuck heads abound when you happen upon a room pustulously populated with that heady, if musty, mix of half-witted hoons and slow-witted Scientologists!

Following the tragic and untimely death of his son Jett, poor John Travolta has let slip that he intends to leave the Church (sic) of Cockheads because he’s dissillusioned with their comic-book based belief that autism, regarded as psychosomatic, should be treated with vitamins and a detox program, no less!. John, you’re not a hoon from Bendigo! Pull yourself together, engage your brain and ditch these sad simpletons!

It is also reported that the church’s response to the teenager’s death has been to conduct “intensive sessions” with so-called ethics officers, whose job is to question Travolta and other family members to determine if their “negative influences” caused the tragedy.

Johnny boy, when are you and Tommy going to realise that this is not a church in any shape or form in the conventional sense but little more than an elaborate fad. Unfortunately, one must validate these Martian member-munchers by labeling them as a cult (C-U-L-T) Yes, I know, it’s very close! How any reasonably sane person can regard these idiots as being members of a valid religion, is beyond me and I’m really fucking intelligent. Members? Yes! Part of a genuine religion? Me thinketh not!

Rick Ross, an author who has watched the church for 30 years, was quoted as saying that can be a dangerous move for any high-profile practitioner.

“Scientology keeps files on its celebrity members containing embarrassing personal information about them,” he said.

“And Scientology has proven in the past that it has a penchant for releasing that information to embarrass people who have left and who have said things it doesn’t like.”

What sort of ‘religion’ would do such a thing? And anyway, how embarrassing could it be? We already know that you’re one of these misguided misfits.

Seriously John, call me!