Australia

Aussie ‘Rape Victim’ Jailed

A 21 year old Australian female cries rape and gets 2 weeks in jail.

You might be forgiven for thinking the punishment was a bit harsh following such an alleged  traumatic ordeal at the hands of a Thai taxi driver; Lord knows it can be a painful enough experience with some cabbies. However it wasn’t until authorities watched video footage of her arriving safely at her holiday apartment that the truth became clear.

The unnamed 21 year old female tourist from Sydney, confessed to fabricating the story and was duly sentenced to two weeks in jail.

Personally, I believe her sentence should have been equivalent to that of a convicted rapist. Give the bitch 15 years to life and I guarantee she, and other ugly fat chicks will think twice before trying to ruin some innocent’s life and costing tax payers countless dollars and that’s on the assumption that she would ever make it out of jail alive.

Oh, a word to the authorities involved, please release her name. The public should be warned.

Absolutely despicable. Shame on you ugly fat Australian chick.

Read the article here.

Potty Principal Mars Mt Martha Primary School

A crazy primary school principal has banned touching at a primary school in Victoria.

The Mt Martha Primary School principal has extended a ban on contact sports to include all physical contact between students. No hugs, no high fives, no tag, no footy, no pats on the back and definitely no formal greetings.

A clearly delusional Judy Beckworth was reported to have said,

I don’t believe that’s it’s taking it too far, and that it’s not actually an overreaction.

The school’s potty principal claims that the unannounced rule change was in response to recent playground injuries and that anyone caught touching would be punished with ‘counselling sessions’.

They are given time to reflect. It’s like a counselling session

Get a bloody grip, woman!

It is alleged that a concerned parent contacted the school and was told they were doing it because staff on yard duty couldn’t tell the difference between aggression and friendly play.

Let’s not forget that these are the actions of the very same galactically challenged (don’t know what planet she’s on) space cadet who threatened to cut the school’s curriculum if parents didn’t make voluntary payments and demanded parents pay a $200 fee to cover toilet rolls.

Children need playgrounds to develop social skills and to test and learn physical limits. They do this by experiential learning; kids need to experience contact and inevitably, pain, in order to learn acceptable norms and their own safe limits.

To say Beckworth has lost touch is a gross understatement and she should be removed from her post before her insane policies cause irreparable damage to pupils.

Read all the madness here.

The Gillard-Ling Mashup (Sorry – No porn!)

julia gillard and cameron ling mashupThank God! At last I can post something related to Julia Gillard that won’t be discovered by Googling for porn!

“Julia Gillard porn?” I hear you exclaim.

Yes. It all started with this rather innocuous mini-post, way back on the 8th September 2009.

Traffic really exploded, as explained in this follow-up post but for a detailed breakdown in the disturbing Gillard-related traffic, read this post.

And so to reaffirm the clear message in this post, you will not find any dodgy Julia Gillard imagery here, sorry.

 

Bendigo Bag of Bollocks Business Award for March 2011

Deciding who was more deserved of this month’s title was more difficult than anticipated.  Our regular nominee, an unnamed local bar, went head to head with the newcomer and young pretender, Bendigo Taxis but given the overwhelming weight of complaints garnered by the latter, it soon became clear that not everyone’s favourite watering hole was as bad as we thought, at least not for the month of March 2011 and at least not for those of us still supporting it.

On a personal note, which in no way influences this month’s result (…much….really), waiting more than an hour for a taxi, TWICE IN ONE DAY!!!, would try the patience of a saint. I am no saint but a rugby fan desperate to get home in time to watch a crucial live match of the 6 Nations Championship.

Yes, I am aware that Bendigo Taxis have just implemented a new automated booking system but surely it would have been prudent to test the bloody thing before going live. Hardly any way to run a business is it? Oh wait, Microsoft have been doing the same thing for years. Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t use Bendigo Taxis, just don’t expect it to turn up on time……or at all!!

Bendigo Taxis, it is with great pleasure that I award you with the Bendigo Bag of Bollocks Business Award for March 2011

Telstra Customer Service – A True Oxymoron

Telstra customer service – an oxymoron

I’m about as knowledgeable on telephonic hardware as I am with the inner workings of the female psyche but even I could have built a telephone out of cigarette ends and old tea bags, connected it to the telephone exchange with cold al dente spaghetti AND made the thing perfectly usable in the time it took Telstra to get me connected. I’ve waited more than a week and become painfully familiar with two dozen members of Telstra staff in as many ineffective departments.

A somewhat more serious side effect of spending so much of my life on the phone to Telstra, is not being able to get those bloody tunes out of my head. I feel violated by muzak.

Now that the telephone is connected, you’d think it was just a case of flicking a switch and the broadband would be activated but this is Telstra and nothing could be so simple.

No, Telstra insist that they need to send a modem even though I have made it clear that I have a one in perfect working order. They even agree that I can indeed use my existing modem and so I ask the obvious question.

After the usual pillar-to-post merry-go-round that is the Telstra trademark, the conversation with what sounded more like an Australian human than an Indian automaton (although I wasn’t entirely convinced), began like this…

Me – So, will you kindly activate my account?

Her – No, not until the new modem has been dispatched from our warehouse.

Me – But, you stated that I may use my existing modem, so why can’t you activate it now?

Her – The account is activated once the modem leaves the warehouse.

Me – But I don’t need a modem and you have clearly stated that I can use my existing modem, so why waste your money and my time by sending a new one?

Here – That’s just the way it is. If a modem wasn’t ready to be dispatched, I could activate it now but the new modem is waiting…

Me – Yes, yes, I know all that but why don’t you simply remove the modem from the order?

Her – I can’t do that…(computer says “No”)

Me – Audible sigh!

You get the picture. This goes on for twenty minutes. The customer support representative explains that nobody is able to prevent the modem from being dispatched even though it is a harmless inanimate object, sitting defenceless with no means of preventing intervention.
“Computer says No!”

So now I must wait several more days for these fuckwits to go through the motions before my broadband can be activated.

The sad thing is that no amount of complaining will improve their service. Telstra is one of those unwelcome and depressing certainties down under…..just like the flies!

Oxford

…an official who upholds petty rules even at the expense of humanity or common sense.

Cambridge

…someone who always obeys all the rules of their job even when they cause problems for other people or when the rules are silly

Collins

…a person who follows the rules of a job exactly, even when this causes problems for other people, or when the rules are not sensible

Wikipedia

…a jobsworth is a person who uses his or her job description in a deliberately uncooperative way, or who seemingly delights in acting in an obstructive or unhelpful manner.

Allwords.com

…a minor clerical worker who refuses to be flexible in the application of rules to help a client or customer.

Dictionery.com

…a person in a position of minor authority who invokes the letter of the law in order to avoid any action requiring initiative, cooperation, etc

There is quite a bit more to this farcical tale but by now you are are probably as bored as I am……

Ebay’s Shoddy Sellers

Blockpartytime, alias Charles Major from Barwon, Vic, is one such seller to avoid like the plague!

Two pairs of identical shoes developed the same fault in identical places within days of arrival. The first time it happened, he ignored my messages via Ebay and email. When lightening struck for a second time, he eventually managed a response but from thereon was incredibly arrogant and rude, and flat out refused a refund or any form of compromise.  He certainly offered no evidence of customer support.

To be honest, I can’t fathom how this distasteful pleb remains in business. Perhaps it’s a good job he sells through Ebay because if he had to meet his customers face to face, I would bet that he’d probably end up with more bloody noses than customers.

This numpty’s  refusal to communicate eventually cost him, though. Once escalated to a claim via PayPal, the seller is given several weeks to respond. Charles Major either refused or didn’t realise. Either way, a typical response but one which resulted in my money being refunded.

An objective review of this seller would probably point out that I am in the minority and that the overwhelming feedback for this plonker is positive, but this post is not about balance and is simply a ‘buyer beware’ warning based on my own experience alone.

Charles of Barwon, thanks for the refund but you are still my ‘Major Cock of the Month’. Congratulations.