News

Aussie ‘Rape Victim’ Jailed

A 21 year old Australian female cries rape and gets 2 weeks in jail.

You might be forgiven for thinking the punishment was a bit harsh following such an alleged  traumatic ordeal at the hands of a Thai taxi driver; Lord knows it can be a painful enough experience with some cabbies. However it wasn’t until authorities watched video footage of her arriving safely at her holiday apartment that the truth became clear.

The unnamed 21 year old female tourist from Sydney, confessed to fabricating the story and was duly sentenced to two weeks in jail.

Personally, I believe her sentence should have been equivalent to that of a convicted rapist. Give the bitch 15 years to life and I guarantee she, and other ugly fat chicks will think twice before trying to ruin some innocent’s life and costing tax payers countless dollars and that’s on the assumption that she would ever make it out of jail alive.

Oh, a word to the authorities involved, please release her name. The public should be warned.

Absolutely despicable. Shame on you ugly fat Australian chick.

Read the article here.

Potty Principal Mars Mt Martha Primary School

A crazy primary school principal has banned touching at a primary school in Victoria.

The Mt Martha Primary School principal has extended a ban on contact sports to include all physical contact between students. No hugs, no high fives, no tag, no footy, no pats on the back and definitely no formal greetings.

A clearly delusional Judy Beckworth was reported to have said,

I don’t believe that’s it’s taking it too far, and that it’s not actually an overreaction.

The school’s potty principal claims that the unannounced rule change was in response to recent playground injuries and that anyone caught touching would be punished with ‘counselling sessions’.

They are given time to reflect. It’s like a counselling session

Get a bloody grip, woman!

It is alleged that a concerned parent contacted the school and was told they were doing it because staff on yard duty couldn’t tell the difference between aggression and friendly play.

Let’s not forget that these are the actions of the very same galactically challenged (don’t know what planet she’s on) space cadet who threatened to cut the school’s curriculum if parents didn’t make voluntary payments and demanded parents pay a $200 fee to cover toilet rolls.

Children need playgrounds to develop social skills and to test and learn physical limits. They do this by experiential learning; kids need to experience contact and inevitably, pain, in order to learn acceptable norms and their own safe limits.

To say Beckworth has lost touch is a gross understatement and she should be removed from her post before her insane policies cause irreparable damage to pupils.

Read all the madness here.

Leftovers Part 1 – Red Chilli Chicken and Sour Cream

With five kids, I’m always looking for ways to make the most of meal times and so I expect that this will be the first of many posts on the subject of leftovers.

Being head chef in our house means I usually get the proportions and amounts just about spot on but from time to time, particularly when we have a late omission or two from the guest list, leftovers are inevitable. Such was the situation on the eve of the Queen’s Birthday.

So if you are wondering what to do with half a roast chicken, a couple of roast parsnips and a good handful of roast potatoes, read on.

After a mooch about in the fridge, I pulled out garlic, onions, a fresh red chilli and a pot of sour cream, chicken stock (I used Chicken Oxo), cayenne pepper, sweet paprika and fresh ground black pepper.

Dice and fry off one large brown onion in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil.

As the onions start to go translucent and soften, add about a heaped teaspoon of chopped/minced garlic. I’ve been using the minced garlic in a jar from Coles and while it is very handy, it doesn’t seem as strong as fresh. If you are using fresh, I’d suggest you use 2 or 3 medium to large cloves.

Next, take the red chilli and split down the middle lengthways. I used a teaspoon and scraped out the seeds but if you like the heat, leave them in. Chop finely and add to the onions and garlic.

Sprinkle about half a teaspoon of cayenne and about the same of paprika over the onions.

Pick remaining meat from the chicken carcass and add to the pan.

Chop up and add the potatoes and parsnips.

Once the ingredients are combined, add a little boiled water. I started with a cup and added an additional splash or two throughout the rest of the cooking but it’s all about your own personal preference. In this instance, if you like it thin add more, thick less. Bear in mind that you will be adding sour cream next.

Add three large tablespoons of sour cream and gently combine. As an afterthought, I blended in a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste.

As everything comes up to heat, both in terms of temperature and taste,  you can add more cayenne if you wish.

You could probably serve this with green beans or mangetout (snow peas) and some crusty bread.

 

The Gillard-Ling Mashup (Sorry – No porn!)

julia gillard and cameron ling mashupThank God! At last I can post something related to Julia Gillard that won’t be discovered by Googling for porn!

“Julia Gillard porn?” I hear you exclaim.

Yes. It all started with this rather innocuous mini-post, way back on the 8th September 2009.

Traffic really exploded, as explained in this follow-up post but for a detailed breakdown in the disturbing Gillard-related traffic, read this post.

And so to reaffirm the clear message in this post, you will not find any dodgy Julia Gillard imagery here, sorry.

 

Top Gear & India

Seriously, if you put Jezza and India in the same sentence, let alone a whole show, there’s bound to be a bit of Chapati bashing!

Viewers vented their frustration after the special saw Clarkson mocking the dress of Indian dignitaries, driving around slums in a Jaguar fitted with a toilet and making repeated jokes about the country’s trains, food, history and conditions.

Do me a favour? Next you’ll be saying ‘knock knock’ jokes are derogatory towards full wood doors!!

Maybe I’m just Old fashioned.

Read the whole bullshit here.

Bullies Deserve A Kick in the Bollocks, Period.

I am sick to death of the number of surveys, reports and associated do-gooders stating how we must treat bullies and the bullied. Much of it comes down to pampering their asses or paying professional psychologists to tell us what we already know.

Meeting violence with violence is generally considered unacceptable, I agree. However, dealing with bullies is the exception to the rule!

My (soon to be divorced) missus, does not share my (archaic) views on the treatment of bullies.

My (significantly worse other half) wife is in agreement with the authorities who claim that violence is not the solution. She was obviously bullied as a brat and hardly surprising really, anyone who represents their country in nagging deserves to be bullied in my view but I digress, I preach hitting back and she preaches…..well, she just preaches.

Sadly, I read too many articles like this one:

Bullies kick schoolboy until his spleen ruptures

“Fight back” I say

Kick the fucker in the bollocks and I will personally guarantee that the Neanderthal with never touch you again.

It’s simple, bullies are cowards. This is one assessment the overly paid tossers with clipboards have actually got right. They feel a need to be in control and they want others to see you being hurt by them.

This slightly homosexual tendency is easily remedied by a swift kick to the obviously underused groin area. Even better is a very quick and powerful punch to the lower pelvic region. Delivering a reasonably powerful blow just above the seldom-used tool will actually separate the pelvic girdle in two and reduce the power-hungry penis muncher to a blubbering mess who will think, not twice, but three times before attempting to force themselves on others.

Cowboys and bullies don't appreciate being kicked in the bollocks

I remember a particularly ‘wannabe’ hard man and all round unloved soul at school, who thought it wise to continually poke the bear with a short stick. One day the bear decided that enough was enough and hit back after one too many taunts. The look of surprise was a picture. From that day forward, the bully concentrated his efforts on another.

I remember another bully, although technically a pair of bullies, who terrorised the neighbourhood and who took great pleasure in kicking several blends of shit out of me one day, for no apparent reason. The following day I patiently waited with the utmost criminal intent and when one of the two siblings approached, I took almost perverse pleasure in the tightly clenched fist that connected with his nose, producing an explosion of claret. He went down like a sack of the shit that he was and knew immediately that this act of bravado would result in another beating but didn’t care in the slightest.

I wasn’t wrong. The very next day the brothers, and no doubt in-bred cousins, combined forces and pummelled me in the school playground but even with a bloodied face and sore ribs, I knew I had the upper hand. The brothers/sisters/cousins of that particular family never laid a finger on me again.

Bullies do not like victims that retaliate. A punch on the nose or a knee to the groin will save a child from years of unnecessary physical and psychological torture.

Argentina Looking for a Another Bloody Nose?

The little dicks and armchair generals are at it again. Posturing, that is. Not that they actually ever stopped after the last bloody nose they received at the hands of the British military. But before long, they will lead Argentina into another confrontation that it could barely support the first time around, 30 years ago.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-15703340

As one commentator quite rightly points out, possession is nine tenths of the law and given (only) Britain’s colonisation, the islands should remain British. Ask the Falkland Islanders? They will, every man, woman, child and sheep, say…

Fuck off Argentina! We’re British!

…and rightly so!

I really don’t like John Terry but let’s be honest, in the following tete-a-tete, who’s your money on?

England v Argentina
Tevez = Argie = Arse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

History shows us that Argentina produces quality arses. Particularly military generals. Here’s a very good example of an Argentine arse:

Quality Argentine Arse
Quality Argentine Arse