News

Bendigo Bag of Bollocks Business Award for March 2011

Deciding who was more deserved of this month’s title was more difficult than anticipated.  Our regular nominee, an unnamed local bar, went head to head with the newcomer and young pretender, Bendigo Taxis but given the overwhelming weight of complaints garnered by the latter, it soon became clear that not everyone’s favourite watering hole was as bad as we thought, at least not for the month of March 2011 and at least not for those of us still supporting it.

On a personal note, which in no way influences this month’s result (…much….really), waiting more than an hour for a taxi, TWICE IN ONE DAY!!!, would try the patience of a saint. I am no saint but a rugby fan desperate to get home in time to watch a crucial live match of the 6 Nations Championship.

Yes, I am aware that Bendigo Taxis have just implemented a new automated booking system but surely it would have been prudent to test the bloody thing before going live. Hardly any way to run a business is it? Oh wait, Microsoft have been doing the same thing for years. Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t use Bendigo Taxis, just don’t expect it to turn up on time……or at all!!

Bendigo Taxis, it is with great pleasure that I award you with the Bendigo Bag of Bollocks Business Award for March 2011

Telstra Customer Service – A True Oxymoron

Telstra customer service – an oxymoron

I’m about as knowledgeable on telephonic hardware as I am with the inner workings of the female psyche but even I could have built a telephone out of cigarette ends and old tea bags, connected it to the telephone exchange with cold al dente spaghetti AND made the thing perfectly usable in the time it took Telstra to get me connected. I’ve waited more than a week and become painfully familiar with two dozen members of Telstra staff in as many ineffective departments.

A somewhat more serious side effect of spending so much of my life on the phone to Telstra, is not being able to get those bloody tunes out of my head. I feel violated by muzak.

Now that the telephone is connected, you’d think it was just a case of flicking a switch and the broadband would be activated but this is Telstra and nothing could be so simple.

No, Telstra insist that they need to send a modem even though I have made it clear that I have a one in perfect working order. They even agree that I can indeed use my existing modem and so I ask the obvious question.

After the usual pillar-to-post merry-go-round that is the Telstra trademark, the conversation with what sounded more like an Australian human than an Indian automaton (although I wasn’t entirely convinced), began like this…

Me – So, will you kindly activate my account?

Her – No, not until the new modem has been dispatched from our warehouse.

Me – But, you stated that I may use my existing modem, so why can’t you activate it now?

Her – The account is activated once the modem leaves the warehouse.

Me – But I don’t need a modem and you have clearly stated that I can use my existing modem, so why waste your money and my time by sending a new one?

Here – That’s just the way it is. If a modem wasn’t ready to be dispatched, I could activate it now but the new modem is waiting…

Me – Yes, yes, I know all that but why don’t you simply remove the modem from the order?

Her – I can’t do that…(computer says “No”)

Me – Audible sigh!

You get the picture. This goes on for twenty minutes. The customer support representative explains that nobody is able to prevent the modem from being dispatched even though it is a harmless inanimate object, sitting defenceless with no means of preventing intervention.
“Computer says No!”

So now I must wait several more days for these fuckwits to go through the motions before my broadband can be activated.

The sad thing is that no amount of complaining will improve their service. Telstra is one of those unwelcome and depressing certainties down under…..just like the flies!

Oxford

…an official who upholds petty rules even at the expense of humanity or common sense.

Cambridge

…someone who always obeys all the rules of their job even when they cause problems for other people or when the rules are silly

Collins

…a person who follows the rules of a job exactly, even when this causes problems for other people, or when the rules are not sensible

Wikipedia

…a jobsworth is a person who uses his or her job description in a deliberately uncooperative way, or who seemingly delights in acting in an obstructive or unhelpful manner.

Allwords.com

…a minor clerical worker who refuses to be flexible in the application of rules to help a client or customer.

Dictionery.com

…a person in a position of minor authority who invokes the letter of the law in order to avoid any action requiring initiative, cooperation, etc

There is quite a bit more to this farcical tale but by now you are are probably as bored as I am……

Ebay’s Shoddy Sellers

Blockpartytime, alias Charles Major from Barwon, Vic, is one such seller to avoid like the plague!

Two pairs of identical shoes developed the same fault in identical places within days of arrival. The first time it happened, he ignored my messages via Ebay and email. When lightening struck for a second time, he eventually managed a response but from thereon was incredibly arrogant and rude, and flat out refused a refund or any form of compromise.  He certainly offered no evidence of customer support.

To be honest, I can’t fathom how this distasteful pleb remains in business. Perhaps it’s a good job he sells through Ebay because if he had to meet his customers face to face, I would bet that he’d probably end up with more bloody noses than customers.

This numpty’s  refusal to communicate eventually cost him, though. Once escalated to a claim via PayPal, the seller is given several weeks to respond. Charles Major either refused or didn’t realise. Either way, a typical response but one which resulted in my money being refunded.

An objective review of this seller would probably point out that I am in the minority and that the overwhelming feedback for this plonker is positive, but this post is not about balance and is simply a ‘buyer beware’ warning based on my own experience alone.

Charles of Barwon, thanks for the refund but you are still my ‘Major Cock of the Month’. Congratulations.

 

Grand Final – Bendigo 5 v 6 Puckapunyal

The Fighting Miners failed in their quest to win back-to-back premierships when they were defeated by the Puckapunyal Boars 6-5 in a quagmire at Puckapunyal last Saturday.

Torrential rain had covered the playing surface with about 50mm of water which soon cut up to become a quagmire. Adding to the difficult conditions were intermittent downpours and a strong wind.

Read More

Bendigo 140 v 0 Border Army

Scoring records tumbled as the Fighting Miners humiliated a hapless Border Army team in the minor semi-final at Shadforth Park last Saturday.

Spearheaded by centre Michael Crichton, who scored an incredible nine tries, the Miners completely dominated proceedings, scoring twenty two unanswered tries.

From Crichton’s first try in the second minute of play till Vaai Liufau’s try in the final minute, the Miners were unrelenting. The longest period between tries was eight minutes midway through the first half.

Read More

Another Big Match in Bendigo this Saturday

The Fighting Miners will be at full strength for their clash with competition leader Cobram Dust Devils at Shadforth Park this Saturday.

In their last outing, the Miners knocked Puckapunyal Boars out of top position with a convincing win.

Bendigo coach Alan Wilkinson is confident his team can repeat the feat against the Dust Devils. In their two previous clashes with the Dust Devils this season, the Miners have a loss and a draw.

Read More

Hearty Hogmanay Haggis & Baked Bean Pizza

Traditional Scottish/Italian fare with a baked bean twist.

Chop half a small onion and fry gently in a little butter.

Next, break up a generous slice of pre-cooked haggis from Rob’s in Dandenong, mix with the onion and combine with a small tin of baked beans before plastering the mixture evenly over your  home-made pizza base. Call me a snob but you can’t go wrong with Heinz Baked Beanz.

Cover with an equal mix of grated cheddar and Mozzarella, then finished off with a good pinch of mixed/Italian herbs.

Cook in the oven as you would any less exotic pizza and Robert’s your uncle!

Slice, serve and wash down with your favourite Scotch.

There is a fun bonus if you wait until after the kids have finished before listing the ingredients in haggis…..

 

haggis pizza
Haggis and Baked Bean Pizza

 

 

Big Match in Bendigo this Saturday

The Fighting Miners are at full strength for their clash with competition leader Puckapunyal Boars at Shadforth Park this Saturday.

After two weeks on the road where the Miners beat Border Army and drew with Cobram, they go into the match with some degree of confidence.

In their two previous encounters this season, the Boars have won both but the Miners consider themselves unlucky to have lost the last match at Puckapunyal where they scored three tries to the Boars’ one.

Read More