News

Say No To Vuvuzelas!

Along with the referees, the new ball and the underwhelming standard of play, this contemptible contraption has conspired to mar the current FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Worryingly, stores here in Australia are unable to keep up with demand. For sports fans, this cannot be good news. The 2010 World Cup will always be remembered for these monotonous, obnoxious horns and God forbid they be allowed to permeate the Aussie sporting culture!

My advice is say ‘No’ and particularly if you cannot confirm their origin. For instance, I would highly recommend against importing vuvuzelas from Papua New Guinea, where they are more commonly referred to as a koteka or phallocrypt.

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New Zealand 29-10 Wales

A second test defeat was always likely, particularly if you look at the form books but Wales still could have performed better. The All Blacks looked a little unimaginative and may I be so bold as to say hesitant?

In the dying seconds the score sat at a perfectly respectable 22 – 10, a score many Welshmen would have bitten arms off to take prior to kick-off, but a slip from Byrne was gratefully pounced on by Cruden for a late try that was a little hard to swallow.

The effort by the Welsh was considerable but I couldn’t help but feel that there was a little more to come. Like many of my school reports, ‘Could do better’ summed it up nicely, but surprisingly more so for the home nation.

The third half result was more even, with the Welsh fans just sneaking a glorious victory by drinking Hamilton dry of Guinness. A great night was had by all and one I hope to repeat next year at the Rugby World Cup 2011, here in New Zealand.

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Wales v All Blacks 2nd Test in Hamilton

It’s abso-bloody-lutely belting it down here in Hamilton but the overwhelming urge to trawl the local bars for Welshmen is too strong…..hmm, that came out wrong?

What I mean is, it would be nice to meet up with the Welsh rugby fans who have descended on Hamilton in their droves for the 2nd Test tomorrow and partake of a few sherbets while we reminisce about the green, green grass of home; God’s country if you will.

I’ll have to get a taxi!

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Yes, We Have No Julia Gillard Porn

Who in God’s name is searching for pictures of ‘julia gillard’s tits’, ‘julia gillard upskirt’, ‘dirty pictures of juilia (sic) gillard’ and ‘julia gillard porn’ in general? Seriously!

For the record, there are no sordid images of Julia Gillard on this site. There never have been and there never will be….even if she is a Barry Island girl.

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Thanks Waikato Rugby Union

It goes without saying that an essential ingredient of going to watch a live International rugby match is the ticket but after days spent tracking down accommodation, I thought I’d left it too late….

Ticketek were telling me that only crap seats were available and that I might be confined to the temporary stand where die-hard fans actually stand and huddle around a 3 inch portable TV to share the experience. However, in the hope of a minor miracle, I called Waikato Rugby Union’s Sales Manager, John Mudford, who usually deals with the stadium’s hospitality goodness that us mere mortals only dream of affording. I explained my predicament and his response was short and sweet.

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Two Bendigo Men Accused of Raping 12 year old

TWO Bendigo men have been charged with the rape of a 12-year-old girl.

The men, both in their 20s, are alleged to have consumed drugs and alcohol and had sex with the girl in full view of their friends despite her pleading with them to stop.

Long Gully man Dale Goss, 25, and Jarrod Nadort, 23, of Lockwood were arrested on Tuesday after the girl made a report to police.

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Idiots in Bendigo – The Definitive List

Searching for a ‘list of idiots in Bendigo’ brings a surprising number of visitors to Gobbledegeek 2.0, not as many as those searching for nude images of Julia Gillard though! For this reason, I thought it might be a worthwhile public service to actually compile a list of Bendigo-based half-wits.

Fortunately, these low-brows are not the majority in this otherwise ‘alright’ Victorian town, so it shouldn’t be a difficult task. So if you know a candidate for the list, please submit their details here. To avoid becoming a candidate yourself, please remember to include the gene pool contaminator’s name, reason for it’s nomination and a photo where possible.

Mark my words, the top twenty will be dominated by those repugnant in-bred fuckaloops, hoons but you are welcome to prove me wrong…..

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Strathdale NAB

I popped into the NAB in Strath Village shopping centre the other day to enquire about their merchant banking services and ‘virtual terminal’ facility. As part of some research I was doing, I remembered reading something on the NAB website. Unfortunately, I assumed asking in person might prove more helpful should I have questions.

I asked for the information I sought but the two female tellers glanced at each other as if I had just asked them to theorise some impossible mathematical equation and expected an answer in fluent badger! After some umm-ing and ahh-ing, which clearly demonstrated a mutual cerebral void, I offered them a release from their obvious agony.

I smiled sympathetically and headed for the door.

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Cheap as Chips Chinese iPad – The iPed

What’s the difference between iPad and iPed? Only $500!

Forget the fact that it runs on as much RAM as is required to power a rather limp lettuce sandwich, as cheap and nasty Chinese knock-offs go, this is quite impressive. Other than the head-turning $149 price tag, another redeeming feature is that fact that it runs on Google’s Android operating system.

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