The Whinging Welshman

While this all encompassing, if inaccurate label causes no offense to me, it does to some. This is especially so when preceded by ‘whinging’ or ‘bloody’ and whilst the precise etymology eludes me, it is worth noting that even the Australians are unsure of exactly where or how the word ‘Pom’ originated.

Bendigo Forums – The original discussion board for Bendigo

Bendigo Forums aims to be a family-friendly, fun and informative free resource for anyone and everyone with an interest in Bendigo, Victoria, Australia and as such, I encourage you to pop over there now and sign up for your free membership and get posting now!

Vultures with wheels

….and you know what? I bet nobody else gives a shit! But that’s the beauty of a blog; I can write what the hell I like and libel laws aside, I will argue that point to the grave.

I don’t know what’s worse, these tossers (see below) for their inability to park correctly or me for actually giving a shit!

Every fucker used the PEDESTRIAN walkway as their own private parking space
Every fucker used the PEDESTRIAN walkway as their own private parking space
A neighbour passed away a little while ago and the scavengers were present in numbers to pick the bones of his estate. They showed scant respect for anyone else by obstructing the public footpath, preventing pedestrians from walking safely and by parking on resident’s lawns too! How inconsiderate can you get? Not much in my opinion. Does the ‘fair go’ laid back attitude extend so far as to allow neanderthals to act in such a manner?
I could almost accept parking like this from a woman
I could almost accept parking like this from a woman

Navigating a busy street with a push chair and four additional small ones is far from easy at the best of times but when you are forced into the road, instead of the relative safety of the sidewalk, it can be particularly dangerous. My children have no choice but to ride or walk in the road. Are you so fucking thoughtless that you simply park where you feel is ok for you? In a residential area? The mind boggles at the thoughtlessness of, it has to be said, the overwhelming majority of vultures who drove to scavage the leftovers.

Thankfully our suburban road is relatively peaceful and traffic free, other than the obvious aforementioned morons but their ignorant actions speak volumes for the laid back ‘fair go’ attitudes, synonimous with Aussies. If we were located on a more busy public road, the baseball bat would be getting up close and personal with a couple of dick head’s cages.

Aussie ‘fair go’ attitude? More like Aussie ‘couldn’t give a toss’ attitude.

Bloody Woolworths Homeshop!

How in God’s name can you be out of bloody frozen chooks? I mean, it’s not like you have to regularly order limited stock and promote rapid turnover to prevent the produce going fowl (did you see what I did there hmm?). It’s bloody frozen, it’ll keep for months. There really is no excuse to be short of frozen produce in my opinion.

Safeway Homeshop is Crap….Really.

Online shopping works if it works, if you follow me. My point is that shopping online and having it delivered to my door, is a useful concept and one I’m sure is vital for many. Notwithstanding the obvious benefits to those unable to physically visit a supermarket, the very fact that this mundane chore is removed, is brilliant. Cup of tea in one hand, mouse in the other and not a single jobsworth checking your bags and pockets on your way out, what’s not to like about online shopping?

Chocolate-covered bacon & the heart-bursting butty

If there is one food that has the uncanny ability to improve virtually any dish, bacon is it. You only have to look at the humble burger to appreciate what I mean. Add a couple of slices of well-cooked bacon and you can probably justify a visit to Macca’s. A simple pizza takes on a whole other dimension with the introduction of sliced bacon and a BLT sans B is barely a satisfying brunch for a rabbit. Could you imagine a Caesar Salad without bacon or a full English breakfast missing a few slices or streaky porkness?

This incredibly versatile porcine product is practically perfect and probably impossible to better (apologies for the preponderance of p’s). Some might argue that chocolate tastes better but that’s down to personal taste and not a belief I share. One odd fact that might be surprising is that bacon and chocolate are perfect culinary partners.

If resistance to chocolate is a futile challenge and you find the company of a bacon butty titillates the taste buds, then chocolate-covered bacon will arouse the gastric juices of the most discerning gastronome.

Mmmm…..chocolate covered bacon.

With the sweetness of the chocolate (or bitter sweet if using darker chocolate), and the saltiness of the ‘just’ crispy bacon, this seemingly odd couple make a magical marriage.

Chocolate has long been combined with savoury dishes. It is traditionally used in Mexican ‘mole’ dishes and is particularly popular in Spanish Catalan food. The dark, rich flavours combine well with the gamey and more richer recipes.

In fact a small amount of chocolate can add depth and enhance many meals. If you decide to experiment, start with dark chocolate or cocoa powder in dishes such as chilli or spaghetti sauces. Melt a couple of blocks in with your roasting veggies, particularly carrot and parsnip.

For those of you who like to flirt with danger or even just flirt, why not try this artery-busting butty. Many may have already come across it before but without the addition of the chocolate. Often referred to as the ‘Elvis’ due to it’s most famous cholesterol casualty, Elvis Presley, this is probably about as close to Paradise as one can possibly get on Earth.

The ‘Elvis’ – aka the peanut butter, bacon, banana fried butty.

1. Add a knob of salty butter to a suitably sized frying pan on medium heat. Once the butter melts and begins to foam, add the white bread coating both sides with the molten butter until golden brown. You could kid yourself that substituting brown bread would be a healthier option but…

2. Crisp the bacon up in a separate frying pan. You might like to try honey-cured bacon. I personally have used olive oil. Remove and drain on kitchen towel.

3. Spread both slices of golden brown fried bread with crunchy peanut butter. Alternatively, spread one slice with peanut butter and the other with chocolate spread, unless of course you have a ready-made supply of chocolate-covered bacon.

4. Slice or mash up your banana and spread over one slice of fried bread. At this point you might wish to drizzle a little honey over.

5. Place your freshly fried bacon slices on top of the banana and top with the other slice of fried bread.

6. Eat straight away. Enjoy!

A veritable orgasm in your mouth, I think you’ll agree 

An arguably healthier alternative blandwich…

Disclaimer – I take no responsibility for burst arteries, exploding heart valves or indeed any other medical condition that could be attributed to using this recipe.