Hipster claims he was into PSY waaaay before Gangnam Style

Korean internet sensation PSY flies into Australia tonight to promote his hit song Gangnam Style, but one fan says he’d prefer it if the singer played his older material instead.

Melbourne hipster Johnny White says he has been following PSY’s career for over a decade. “I’ve been into PSY since he was doing late night spots at karaoke bars in Seoul and, I gotta tell you, his early material is much better. Things kinda started to go downhill after his 2005 release, Sa Jib.

“Everyone’s just jumping on the bandwagon now, which is unfortunate because it makes the PSY posters in my bedroom look a bit mainstream, although they are originals from 2002”.

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Barnaby Joyce Volunteers To ‘Look After’ Pistol & Boo, Following Depp, Heard Divorce

The Deputy Prime Minister has put his hand up to help out in whatever way he can, after celebrity couple Johnny Depp and Amber Heard confirmed their divorce this week.

“They’ll have a lot on their minds, a lot of things to work through. All I’m saying is I can take care of the dogs,” Joyce said.

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Jarryd Hayne To Take Nick Kyrgios’s Spot And Pursue Dream Of Playing Olympic Tennis

Former NRL, NFL and Fijian 7s star Jarryd Hayne has jumped at the opportunity to fill Nick Kyrgios’s spot on the Australian Olympic tennis team, saying it was a chance to pursue his lifelong dream.

“Playing for the Parramatta Eels, playing for the San Francisco 49ers, playing for Fiji – all of this was just a stepping stone to going out on court in the men’s singles, and possibly the mixed doubles, in Rio 2016,” Hayne said.

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South Africa Skilfully Exploits Aussies’ Weakness: Cricket

South Africa has convincingly won the second test in Hobart after doggedly honing in on Australia’s Achilles heel – batting, bowling and fielding.

South African captain Faf Du Plassis said it was part of a conscious strategy to outmaneuver the once-dominant Aussies.

“We studied the tapes over the winter and found a specific vulnerability in the Aussies’ game: test match cricket,” he said after the game. “From there it was just a matter of exploiting that weakness by sticking to a plan of playing cricket over and over again for four days. Full credit to the boys for their persistence”.

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New Dating App Connects You With People Within 1 Metre Radius

A new app called LookUp alerts users to family members and spouses located within 100cm, encouraging them to start a conversation, or even a relationship.

Creators of the innovative new service say the beauty of the app is that it will notify you of people in your immediate vicinity you hadn’t even remembered existed.

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Cricket Australia insists the media blame the players for latest series loss, not them

CRICKET AUSTRALIA CEO JAMES Sutherland has dismissed suggestion that his organisation is broken at a fundamental level, saying that the rotation and reward policy had nothing to do with the series loss to South Africa this afternoon.

Rather than take an introspective look into Cricket Australia, Sutherland has pointed the finger at his underperforming players.

“We’ve been resting players, rotating them around to keep them fresh. We’ve given them the best support staff in the world – and they still get flogged. It’s not the board’s failure, it’s the players themselves who should shoulder the blame.” said Sutherland.
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John Eales is putting soothing voice to good use by voicing GPS systems

IN A DAY AND AGE when road rage is becoming more and more common, it’s nice to have a voice of reason behind the wheel – and now, that voice can be John Eales.

The former Wallabies captain has leant his pipes to global GPS navigation giant TomTom, so that rugby union fans can simmer down and take the long way back, listening to the second-rower guide them home.

“My road rage problem was beginning to impact on those around me,” said Dennis Reprobate (52). “I’d grip the wheel and scream and shout. Sometimes I’d take the battery out of the garage remote and throw it at bad drivers.”
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Luke Thurrowgood at Stamper Constructions Pty Ltd Bendigo

Luke Thurrowgood at Stamper Constructions Pty Ltd Bendigo, your considerable invoice is now 6 months overdue!

My good friend over at Bendigo Web Design has five kids to support and is barely scraping by but he dropped everything and bent over backwards to accommodate you and you repaid him by ignoring his invoices and repeated attempts to communicate. 5 months ignoring all efforts to contact you and then out of the blue, you ask for bank details to pay your debt. Not surprisingly, another month passes without further contact. You should be ashamed of yourself. Instead of sticking your head up your arse and ignoring respectful requests to pay for the services given, you simply had to communicate and come to an arrangement.

Karma is a bitch and I sincerely hope you get what you deserve.

Stop being a grubby weazel, man up and pay your debts.

UPDATE

It appears we are not the only ones looking for him…

luke-thurrowgood-bendigoPOLICE are continuing to search for wanted man Luke Thurrowgood in the Bendigo region.

The 30-year-old man is wanted after failing to answer bail in relation to drug, assault and traffic matters.

Thurrowgood is known to frequent the Bendigo and Maribyrnong areas.

He is described as being 185cm tall, medium build, fair complexion with brown hair, blue eyes and normally has a beard.

Investigators have released an image of Thurrowgood in the hope someone recognises him and can provide information regarding his whereabouts.

Anyone with information is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or submit a confidential report at www.crimestoppersvic.com.au

7ft slate bed pool table for sale in Bendigo – SOLD

Superior quality full size (7″ pub/comp) pool table for sale. One piece Italian slate bed. Very heavy extra chunky solid timber with large detachable and adjustable legs. Quality brass and leather trim. Blue English napped felt still playable but rubbers may need to be replaced soon. Cloth dust cover, genuine Aramith pool and snooker balls, cues and assorted accessories. Excellent condition. Well looked after.

$1200 ono.

Dismantled for easy (ish) transport. Pick up from Bendigo.

I will also throw in a domain name, website and hosting if interested.

Star Wars action figures sold separately.

 

 

Contact willhearne@gmail.com, through Facebook or comment below.

Bendigo Bag of Bollocks Business Award for March 2011

Deciding who was more deserved of this month’s title was more difficult than anticipated.  Our regular nominee, an unnamed local bar, went head to head with the newcomer and young pretender, Bendigo Taxis but given the overwhelming weight of complaints garnered by the latter, it soon became clear that not everyone’s favourite watering hole was as bad as we thought, at least not for the month of March 2011 and at least not for those of us still supporting it.

On a personal note, which in no way influences this month’s result (…much….really), waiting more than an hour for a taxi, TWICE IN ONE DAY!!!, would try the patience of a saint. I am no saint but a rugby fan desperate to get home in time to watch a crucial live match of the 6 Nations Championship.

Yes, I am aware that Bendigo Taxis have just implemented a new automated booking system but surely it would have been prudent to test the bloody thing before going live. Hardly any way to run a business is it? Oh wait, Microsoft have been doing the same thing for years. Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t use Bendigo Taxis, just don’t expect it to turn up on time……or at all!!

Bendigo Taxis, it is with great pleasure that I award you with the Bendigo Bag of Bollocks Business Award for March 2011