Jarryd Hayne To Take Nick Kyrgios’s Spot And Pursue Dream Of Playing Olympic Tennis

Former NRL, NFL and Fijian 7s star Jarryd Hayne has jumped at the opportunity to fill Nick Kyrgios’s spot on the Australian Olympic tennis team, saying it was a chance to pursue his lifelong dream.

“Playing for the Parramatta Eels, playing for the San Francisco 49ers, playing for Fiji – all of this was just a stepping stone to going out on court in the men’s singles, and possibly the mixed doubles, in Rio 2016,” Hayne said.

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South Africa Skilfully Exploits Aussies’ Weakness: Cricket

South Africa has convincingly won the second test in Hobart after doggedly honing in on Australia’s Achilles heel – batting, bowling and fielding.

South African captain Faf Du Plassis said it was part of a conscious strategy to outmaneuver the once-dominant Aussies.

“We studied the tapes over the winter and found a specific vulnerability in the Aussies’ game: test match cricket,” he said after the game. “From there it was just a matter of exploiting that weakness by sticking to a plan of playing cricket over and over again for four days. Full credit to the boys for their persistence”.

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Food On Wooden Board Same As Food On Plate

Food served on a polished chopping board is identical to food supplied on a plate, it has been revealed.

The findings come after an extensive research project conducted in cafes and restaurants.

“While the food we tested on wooden boards was generally more difficult to eat and about 30-40% more expensive, we found no difference in the food itself,” scientist Jeffery Coomb said today.

The findings will come as a shock to patrons, many of whom have cut plated food from their diets completely.

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Trump Calls For US To Exit EU

Saying it was time to ‘make America Great again’, Republican presumptive Presidential nominee Donald Trump has begun a bid for his country to leave the European Union.

At a rally today, Mr Trump said. “Why should we answer to Brussels? Who even knows where Brussels is? I do. I’ve been there. I know loads of people there. And they’re not Americans. We’re Americans. Which is why we need to leave the EU. If I’m President, it’s the first thing I’ll do”.

“People are laughing at us. They’re actually laughing at us. People say to me, ‘Donald, why is America part of the European Union?’ And I say ‘Obama’. And they say ‘I hate Obama’. And I say, ‘I know Obama. I’ve met him. He’s not even American. And the European Union isn’t American either’.

“I know all the best unions. And the European Union is not one of them. The best union is the United States. So why are we even part of the EU? Let’s give the EU the finger. We won’t even need a referendum. We’ll just leave. I don’t even care if they try to stop us. I’m sick and tired of people trying to stop America leaving the EU”.

A poll today showed that 48% of Americans supported Donald Trump’s plan to leave the EU.

Cricket Australia insists the media blame the players for latest series loss, not them

CRICKET AUSTRALIA CEO JAMES Sutherland has dismissed suggestion that his organisation is broken at a fundamental level, saying that the rotation and reward policy had nothing to do with the series loss to South Africa this afternoon.

Rather than take an introspective look into Cricket Australia, Sutherland has pointed the finger at his underperforming players.

“We’ve been resting players, rotating them around to keep them fresh. We’ve given them the best support staff in the world – and they still get flogged. It’s not the board’s failure, it’s the players themselves who should shoulder the blame.” said Sutherland.
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John Eales is putting soothing voice to good use by voicing GPS systems

IN A DAY AND AGE when road rage is becoming more and more common, it’s nice to have a voice of reason behind the wheel – and now, that voice can be John Eales.

The former Wallabies captain has leant his pipes to global GPS navigation giant TomTom, so that rugby union fans can simmer down and take the long way back, listening to the second-rower guide them home.

“My road rage problem was beginning to impact on those around me,” said Dennis Reprobate (52). “I’d grip the wheel and scream and shout. Sometimes I’d take the battery out of the garage remote and throw it at bad drivers.”
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Win a Website by Bendigo Web Design

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Given the sensational deal and top rate support they’ve given me, I felt it only right to give them a plug and not just because I could think of anything better to post.

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